ALLIGATOR BITES OFF KIDS ARM
Lakes, rivers, oceans, running with the bulls, and things of that nature are something I can never do. I’m simply not the outdoor type. I’m just a lot more comfortable on land safely in a residential area surrounded by human beings. Kaleb Landdale learned this lesson the hard way. Being from the south I’m just assuming he’s one of those “Swamp People” types and that’s me stereotyping, but I’m thinking he was just born to swim in lagoons and musky swamps during the 162 degree Florida day then break out the ol banjo and deep dick his second cousin til the cows come home.
My favorite part to this story is they killed the alligator, cut it open and fished out Kaleb’s arm to try to reattach the fucking thing. Cut your losses my man, its 2012 up here, so that means it’s about 1995 down there, but still you could have a titanium new wing and not have to worry about this unfortunate accident ever happen again. Even better, attach a spear to the lost limb, teach the rest of the gators and other wildlife a lesson.
Kaleb Langdale, 17, survived the encounter Monday in the Caloosahatchee River west of Lake Okeechobee. Wildlife officers who caught and killed the alligator retrieved the arm, but doctors were unable to reattach it.
“We found the alligator that was responsible,” Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission spokesman Jorge Pino said. “We were able to kill the alligator and dissect the alligator, remove the arm and transport the arm to the hospital to see if the doctors could reattach the limb.”
The alligator was 10 or 11 feet long, Pino said.
The teen was rushed to a Fort Myers hospital. His condition was not available early Tuesday.
His friends told Fort Myers television station WBBH ( http://bit.ly/NljdlO) that while the arm could not be reattached, Langdale was in good spirits.
The alligator went straight for Langdale as he was swimming, Matt Baker said.
“It came at him and he put his arm in the way instead of letting it get to his body. It took his arm and him under,” Baker said.
Another friend said Langdale popped out of the water shortly after being bitten.
“He was waving saying, `Call the paramedics! My arm is gone!’” Gary Beck said.
P.S. ‘Call the paramedics! My arm is gone!’-no fucking way it went down like that, probably more like this