65 Pound Beaver Snacks On Swimmers In Virginia

Posted July 20, 2012 by Johnny2x in Science

A couple of days ago I was contacted by our editor to write a story about the fella who’s cock was so huge the TSA actually thought it was a weapon. I had to respectfully decline since I was on my bosses fly ass boat drinking beers and soaking up 100 degree heat zig zagging up and down the Mullica river.

Due to the oppressive heat and liquid courage, I decided to take a swim. Of course I made my girlfriend dive in first and the reason for that is, if my feet would of touched the bottom of that filthy river I would almost certainly of stroked out and drown.

Now I know there’s marine life living in those waters, fish, turtles maybe water snakes and the like, but A 65 POUND MOTHERFUCKING BEAVER! ?!??!?!?  Where’s Ice Cube and J Lo when you need them? Aren’t beavers supposed to be cute little critters building dams and not the size of a third grader mauling kids legs off? Now I don’t know nearly enough (i.e. nothing) about beavers eating habits, but this monster must of been on a strictly protein diet. Just devouring every red-blooded creature mother nature had to offer.

Probably had a unquenchable thirst for blood you only read about. Now enter our hero, an uncle who stepped up to the plate and shot the beaver Elmer Fudd style with a BB gun then proceeded to gut the fucking thing with a hunting knife. I guess the moral of the story is don’t let your kids swim where animals have a size advantage.

If you’re a dumb drunk adult such as myself you deserve it.

65 Pound Beaver Snacks On Swimmers In Virginia

http://www.dailymail.co.uk (full story)

A crazed beaver attacked two girls as they swam in a lake at a popular beauty spot leaving them with serious injuries.

Eight-year-old Annabella Radnovich and her 11-year-old sister, Alyssa, were playing with their cousins at Lake Anna in Virginia’s Spotsylvania County when the 65 pound animal bit and scratched their legs.

The sisters were rushed to Spotsylvania Regional Medical Center after the attack just before noon on Sunday.

She told q13FOX.com: ‘She had felt something touch her leg and she thought it was one of her cousins messing with her. 

Victim: Eight-year-old Annabella Radnovich suffered serious wounds to her leg

‘And she stopped and looked and pushed it off of her and started running out of the water.’

Annabella also thought it was someone in her family fooling around until she felt the animal’s claws digging into her legs.

Describing the terrifying experience she said: ‘It started swimming around me, and then I tried to get out again and it bit my leg.

PS-With the amount of horseshit Hollywood pumps out every year it wouldn’t surprise me in the least to see this at next summers blockbuster


hopefully there won’t be a lunatic shooting up the theater.

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About the Author


John created the HowsYourRobot.com just because he cares about each and everyone of you. He likes science, technology, movies, and music. He also likes long walks in the park but only at night and in most dangerous park he can find AND he discovered the internet while playing in his back yard as a child. Some of this is true and some of it is not.


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